“I held my breathe under water for 2months, 3weeks, 6hours, 5mins and 45 seconds…”
Hello there, I just thought I should let you guys know about me, that is if you don’t already know about me.
Before you read this CV, I want you to cast and bind every spirit of ‘Doubting Thomas’ that may be inside you. Deal?
Here we go…
REAL NAME: Obasanjo Buhari Jonathan
NICKNAME: OBJ
Collecting teeth from live lions
Catching bullets with bare hands
Jogging up and down mountain Everest.
PERSONAL RECORDS:
I fought with a dinosaur and broke its neck and used its teeth to skin a live crocodile.
I held my breathe under water for 2months, 3weeks, 6hours, 5mins and 45 seconds…..
I Jogged round the world in a day
I survived two suicide bomb attacks.
GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS:
I went to Mars to charge my phone.
I can speak 10,598 languages.
I beat Jet Li, Muhammad Ali and John Cena on the same day.
I am the first human to land on the sun without sweating.
I sat down on a bomb to stop it from exploding.
I became a president without having a shoe.
SILLIEST THINGS I’VE DONE:
I pushed a trailer into the gutter because they parked it near my house.
I swallowed a grenade by mistake.
EMBARRASSING MOMENT:
I failed to kill 100 gorillas with one punch. However, 99 died instantly and the last one is now crippled.
PROUDEST MOMENTS:
Firstly, when a cobra died after biting me and secondly, when I roasted a dragon at my backyard with a lighter.
SOMETHING ABOUT ME:
I really don’t like bragging.
I hate liars.
Anyway, I was just joking. My name is Samson and I cant even kill a roach not to talk of swallowing a grenade. You can find another person to help Us catch Shekau and Bring Back Our Girls!
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